Struggling

I'm wondering how to best approach Lent without being so focused on food. The fast is good and is needed. The obsession with food is not. Frankly, I'm already tired of the advice I hear people give about food, of the tricks we all use to eat well during the Fast, of the obsession on what is allowed and what is forbidden (all is allowed, nothing forbidden - we choose to abstain!). This no doubt comes partly due to the fact that I am the food coordinator for Pascha and have already had people talking to me about the Feast and Lazarus Saturday meals. It's also partly because Lenten food is easier for me than for many, as veganity isn't off my radar during the rest of the year.

More so, this comes from how obsessed I become over food - how much time I spend thinking about what will be in my basket on Pascha morning, how much planning I do to cook food during Holy Week, what I will bring to the Friday night potlucks and when I will be able to make the food given my hectic schedule.

I need Lent to be about drawing closer to God, delving deeper into prayer, entering into the 'tithe of time', to the Joyful Sorrow, to the Passion and Resurrection of Christ. I don't want to care about the food. Really. I. Just. Don't.

I want to approach the chalice with a healthy fear, with a humble heart, with the knowledge and belief that permeates my being of the reality of Holy Communion. I want to be filled with the love of God, with love for humanity in all its forms, with a repentant heart that yearns for forgiveness and the life of Christ.

Most Holy Theotokos, have mercy on me and intercede for me before your Son and our God.