Tears

I spend a lot of time crying these days. I cry every day. I'm not even as depressed as I was last week. There's just a lot of sadness in my known world these days. If I could get paid for crying, I'd be sitting on a pretty pile of money. I'm amazed at how much energy crying takes out of me. My eyes are heavy and dry. My head hurts. I'm tired.

Pascha is less than three weeks away. I have not even begun to pray this Lent. I cling to the words of St. John Chrysostom's Paschal homily that beckon all to the feast, no matter how long we have labored. And I pray that some of my tears may turn to tears of repentance rather than the prevailing self oriented sadness.

My capstone is done. And I'm getting prescription glasses next week. I found small, light frames that are the most engaging color of red. Some colors give my heart a tweak and this red is one of them. I think they look stoopit on me, but the blurred vision and constant headaches necessitate a new course of eye-action. And they are pretty. I love the red. See - not all is lost.