So close, yet so far

Intimacy freaks me out. Plain and simple. I don't want to be known. I don't want to be seen. I want to be hidden and forgotten so that I may forget.

Alas, He bides me to come and receive rest and life. He bids me to a life of repentance and communion with Him and His people.

I've seen it through the windows, I've seen it through the veil I keep over the reality of who I am.

I want it, I want to know and love Him and to rest in His peace.

Yet I cannot get past the fear of being known. The irony is that He knows all and I keep pretending otherwise.

there's a restless feeling knocking at my door today