Today sucks goose feathers

I am so at the end of my wits right now, I just want to cry myself to sleep. But instead of rehashing all the junk here for future memory, I want to bring myself up a bit. So in no particular order, here are a few things that don't bite, no matter how bad my day may be:

1. Earl is on tonight
2) Kittens await at home
3! I have a great family, quirks and all
4+ Jon Stewart made me cry with laughter this morning - or rather watching the video clip of last night's show did
5% This too shall pass
6# Rain
7* My permanent crown is in
8$ W cannot be president for a third term
9@ God is good

I'm going home now and I'm going to be okay. I hope.

A prayer

Once Lent begins, I'll be saying this often. In English. I'm a monoglot. So I hope this says what I've been told it does. Lord knows I need a dose of it already.

Господи и Владыко живота моего, дух праздности, уныния, любоначалия и празднословия не даждь ми.

Дух же целомудрия, смиренномудрия, терпения и любве, даруй ми рабу Твоему.

Ей, Господи Царю, даруй ми зрети моя прегрешения, и не осуждати брата моего, яко благословен еси во веки веков, аминь.

In memory of Nathan

Nathan's legacy

This story has had me crying both as a human and as a religious person. I'm *tired* of the blinders people wear, I'm *tired* of the lies they tell, I'm *tired* of the violence of hate carried out in the name(s) of God. I'm beginning to wonder why God does *not* wipe us all out for the evils we allow to perpetrate in our society. (How Pat Robertsonish of me, I know!)

Christ said that what we do to the least, we do as unto God. When we shun and disown and kick out and deny and disdain and dishonor, that is no exception.

Nathan's family committed a heinous act of aggression against his memory, not only by officially denying his identity - his work - his passion (as if that isn't enough), but by soliciting donations for an ex-gay organization in their gay son's name. I find it somewhat ironic though, that in the great scheme to deny Nathan's reality, they acknowledged it - why else would they have selected such a 'charity'?

All in all, I take hope in knowing that out of sadness can often come great joy and renewed invigoration for action and change. I hope that as his story spreads, at least one kid who is struggling will realize there are people who can help - even if their family won't - and that they will be able to reach out and find a hand. I hope that at least one person ambivalent about civil rights will realize that just because 'the gay' isn't as obvious as skin tone, that the need for full equality for all people - in the law and in our hearts/minds - is no less vital and will step up to speak up. I hope that at least one person who fears homosexuality will realize that the GLBT community consists of regular ole people, no less human and no more scary than any of 'us'.

For my own part, I don't have much, but I'm going to make a donation to Lambert House and to the local PFLAG group in Nathan's name. It's the most I can do with my schedule but I also feel it is the least I can do to help others in his situation.

don't give up, no reason to be ashamed

Welcoming 2006

While I feel more kindred with the church's new year on 1 September, I still wax a bit nostalgic with the beginning of the new calendar year on 1 January (as evidenced by my best of 2005 post earlier). And so to keep with tradition, I offer my resolutions for this new year of our Lord:

* Stop persecution of the felines in exchange for their reduced shedding and letting me sleep past 4am. Resolve to feed regularly and love often - in sharp contrast to the past ten years, according to them. :)

* Stop the swearage! I need to ditch the potty mouth and begin to speak with integrity and intention. The swearing is the most frustrating, as it is the 'easiest' of my verbal pitfalls.

* Read TBK all the way through.

* Write more thank you notes and other some such correspondence.

* Regularly support Pig's Peace, Tree House, and NHM. Go with D to the shelter once a month. I was pretty good about giving last year, but I want to make it more of a lifestyle and less of an issue of pride for myself. I continue to struggle with the question: By what right can I continue to deny sharing my excess (money, clothes, possessions, etc) with those in need? I don't expect an answer to the question, I don't want an easy fix - I want to be less about giving and more about sharing. What is mine is mine because God gave it, caring stewardship is the minimum I can give in return. May I be blessed to be able to develop a compassionate heart throughout the year.

I could add things to the list, but I'll stop there. It could likely all be pleasantly summed up by 'resolving' to live a more Christ centered life - but it seems rather trite and magickal to 'resolve' such a thing. Any grace God grants me to draw closer to Him, to grow in faith and love, to truly live the life of the Church, well that's His to give and not mine to decide I possess. That God grants an abundance of love and grace is in every way a blessing and in no way my accomplishment. Not sure if the distinction makes sense outside of my mind, but inside the noggin it does (no, that is not meant to inspire confidence in anyone else).

My profile says I talk too much. Argh.

it's a dark old wood and it's damp with dew