Bookage - The Little Friend

The Little Friend
By Donna Tartt

After finally reading the oft exhilarating (but a tad too drawn) Secret History last year, I made time to start The Little Friend the other day. The back of the book had no description and I did not check other resources to find out the plot. I thought one would be clear with 550+ pages to cover. Alas, alas. I was rather disappointed with this read - a lot of endless description and detail that seemed to mainly swirl around itself. It wasn't horrible by any stretch, but a definite let down after TSH, especially since it was eight or so years between publications.

I don't mind meandering stories that tell about characters - subtle plots are often the most intriguing for my tastes, but this one seemed to just drone on. And on. It lacked a grace found in other character studies - I lost my reason to care about most of the characters about halfway through. My frustrating curiosity kept me skimming the last two hundred pages to get the gist of the plot - I really don't feel I missed anything by skipping through the book.

While others have criticized Tartt for her stereotyping of certain characters and for creating a seemingly hostile, classist and racist environment, I actually appreciated those aspects of the book. They set me ill at ease and made me uncomfortable - challenging my notions of what is right and good in writing. Seeing the humanity in the 'bad' guys and the shortcomings in their counterparts is always more rewarding than being spoonfed a 'proper' story. At least in my opinion.

Chickie shez: library this one if you are so inclined. Keep your cash.

Pot addressing kettle

I often wonder why we as humanoids see great value in the maternal instinct a mother bear has for her cubs but we have utter disregard for a mother cow's maternal bonds with her young.

We cause her soft, gentle eyes to fill with grief. I am complicit as my fellows are complicit.

God help me to make it right.

oh my, oh my god ~ out here mama they got us living suicide

Becoming

a prayer

few words

much practice

cleansing

silence

prayer

forgiveness

repentance

humility

awareness

acceptance

grace

mercy

St. Moses of Ethiopia and his basket of sand ~ releasing and repenting for caring of the sins of others.

silence as music

Coming clean

I've still not told anyone in my family about the depression and related stuff. I can tell people I have no emotional investment with, but my family is too close to know. I'm conflicted about it, but as long as the conflict exists, I need to keep it inside.

However, I've wondered how I would tell them. Guess what! Suicidal tendencies produced a breakdown in December and now I'm on meds and have been through some treatment and I've mostly plateaued since then! Sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't want you all to be up in my bidness! But the good news is that I don't burn or cut myself anymore and I'm aware that daydreaming about hanging myself is irrational!

Would it be in person with both of the adults there or by email or by letter? How do you look at your mother and tell her that her offspring has a serious death wish? How do you look at your brother and tell him if you had two more ounces of courage, he would not have a sister anymore? How would he be left to explain that to his girls? Would mom be relieved that there is an explanation for my body size, my reclusiveness, my introversion or would she be horrified that I've gone so far? How would it be to tell them that no they can't 'help' me and that I don't want them asking or checking in? Wouldn't that be enormously unfair? "Here's a 500# burden! Don't bring it up again! I'm still alive and that's all you need to know!"

I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself. Not die is part of it, I guess. It's the rest I have to wade through yet.

- i n g o! - i n g o! - i n g o! and bingo was his name-o!

One of the things you're not supposed to talk about

...in polite conversation is abortion. Unless of course one wants to hail the topic.

One cannot be pro-life and progressive, I'm told. True pro-lifers value a woman's life above that of a foetus. True pro-lifers are pro-choice. Those who oppose abortion on demand are anti-choice, anti-woman, etc.

I call bullshit on those lies. I could make my call based on my somewhat different take on the concept of rights, of which abortion is supposedly one. I could make my call by claiming hypocrisy on the abortion front, same as they (rightly) do with alleged pro-lifers who support the death penalty or pre-emptive wars. But I'm going to call bullshit on abortion because it is simply an act of violence. The victims are defenseless, but even that is explaining it too much. It is wrong simply because it is a violent act. Period. There is no way to excuse the act of crushing an unborn child and it's removal via vacuum or forceps from the place where he or she is supposed to be preserved inviolate until birth. I will never understand how a mother can open up her legs and allow her child to be sucked from her womb.

I don't doubt pregnancy - especially from an act of violence itself - can be a terrifying reality. I faced the dilemma myself not but six years ago. Those several days when I didn't know were some of the worst of my life - because I knew I couldn't be a mother and I hadn't chosen to be drugged and raped, but I also was not on birth control when I was drugged and raped. And when my mind came out of its blackout, he was having sex with me without a condom. I was shit-scared my doctor would tell me that there was a little something implanted in my womb. My heart breaks for those who feel even half as alone as I felt those days -

But person A's transgression against me does not give me licence against person B.

And pregnancy is a naturally occuring result of sexual intercourse between male and female, whether it's planned copulation or a drunken roll in the sack.

And a life is a life. No, I don't support the death penalty. Yes, I oppose the current wars. I'm vegetarian. I don't believe in spanking children. At a future date, I hope to be a foster and adoptive parent to a child or children who need a home. Etc etc etc, blah blah blah. And I'm against the abortion of children in their mother's womb. How horrible I am, eh? To hear the shrieking of the uber-left, I'm nothing more than a traitor to my gender. How progressive a view they hold.

the women are equal and they may be ahead of the men

GAH!!!

Facing finals that don't seem inclined to write themselves... melting in stuffy summer heat... losing weight but not slim enough for a size lower...

Realized some of the big frustration is being beholden to the school schedule. I'm halfway through and feeling like it will never end - that progress is nonexistent in my world - that I'll always be in this beholden state. I say a lot of no these days and I dream of being able to be freeeeeee! At least I get a month off soon - can't wait to not feel guilty for spending a day doing nothing but reading and meandering. Only 35 of the 100 books thus far - not sure if I will make the resolution by year's end, but I'll keep a-trying til the end.

Going to skip the homework tonight... doubling up for tomorrow, I know. Comme ca.

shhhh listen